crystalthediva and me...love convo! lol

yea das right i put ur name in it this time lol...me is me and u is crystal. lol

my love conversation with my friend

Me: What is love

U: Love is what makes you appreciate life. Without someone to love or someone loving you, life doesnt seem to holdany meaning.

Me: No Way

U: What do you mean no way

Me: Love, noun, strong affection, object of attachment, benevolent concern for others. r we perhaps giving love more credit than deserved?

U: I do not think so. Love is not when you find a person you can live with but when you find one you cannot live without. like our children for example.

Me: No becuase I can live without anyone and everyone and i refuse to accept that i am incapable of love.

U: Love is about finding someone who once they walk away from you, even though you can continue on, right now it seems like an impossiblity that you would be able to do it.

Me: wait wut??

After some time

U: umm
U: I'm confused too. :( I miss being in love. I want someone to fall in love with me...or at least fake it real well.

Me: Well this has steered to a path I wasnt expecting...so anways......

U: I cant stand the fact that you believe that you can live a life without love. It has been proven that dying premature babies in incubators need human touch and caresses and that helps them to survive. Are you saying that alone on a desert island, with no one to talk to or love or love you wouldnt go insane?

U: Understand?

U: okay i think that the easiest way to undertame the meaning of love is to look at your kids looking at you.

U: aha! I win!!!

Me: U win? lol weirdo.

U: I always win existential conversations.

Me: Nah we both win because we both challenge eachother to think.

U: Damn you and your college education. Always coming up with better answers than me and forcing me to think harder. lol

meeee

i have been reevaluating my life lately and in the process have discovered things about me that i love. i love robert frost. his poems are dark but beautiful. i love to have deep discussions..if only there were more people who would prefer talking about life and growth over who her baby daddy is. i like to blog though in the future some blogs might be private...but i hate making things private its like i should be me and fuck what anyone thinks right? not fuck what anyone thinks because everyone to some degree cares what someone thinks but more like if im one hundred percent me all the time and people like me than they like me but if i hide parts of myself due to embarrassment or shame or whatever then people who like me dont know the real me so how would i feel good about them liking me right? i mean if you like what i show you but im not showing the truth then u dont like me afterall you like this figment of what i have given you. well thats not really relevent to my point of this blog. or is it? oo i dont know. i dont even know if blogs have to have a point i mean do they really? no arent blogs just rambling ons about me me me you you you. whatever. i love me. i really love me. i think people can go a whole lifetime without ever discovering their true self.i feel so excited about the future or maybe its just this damn coffee i drank.

not so serious

So I just got done reading Crystals blog and that shit was crazy. I mean I know everything in it already because das my peoples but the crazy shit was her candor about everything. She definately holds back nothing. Anyways she talks a whole lot about relationships. It got me thinking about what I need and want from a relationship. Which led me to analyze relationships in general. Heres my observation and opinion. In life we are looking for another person to love. We are afraid to love in case they dont love back. We give and take depending on whats being given and recieved, how its being given and recieved and a thorough determination of the motives of another person. So when we compare these motives with our own we either take it further or terminate the relationship. Okay so even if you meet someone with the same motives as yourself and you are both genuine people, the probability of those motives staying the same forever is not likely. Everyday people change. Who I am today surely will not be the same as who I am tomorrow and if it is than I have wasted a day not growing. True the inner you remains the same but your likes an dislikes change. Your goals and desires change. So if you are changing and your significant other is changing it can statistically be decided that the chance that what you want and what he wants, what you like and what he likes, what you live for and what he lives for will change. So will you and him mesh as good as you did before? the connection cannot and will not be the same. So do people stay together to make the marriage work? To not be failures in the eyes of others? To not be alone? Do people sacrifice themselves for the security of a marriage? Or can two people grow together and fall more in love everyday. And if they can and if they do should one feel less worthy because they happen to not? Does that mean they didnt work as hard for the relationship? I titled this post not so serious because it was supposed to be light and easygoing..damn my bad..

Philosophical Thoughts

So I am at work thinking about a current question. Is it certain we are going to die? Which makes me contemplate certainty and its limitations. When one becomes certain about ANYTHING one stops questioning and when one stops questioning that means one is content with the answers in front of them. I have never been certain about anything in my life and people are always telling me how I need to make this choice or that choice and decide what I am and what I want and what I believe but I can never fully commit because I just dont know. I am one of those people who needs to find out for myself. I am a philosopher. On a journey of discovery. I have know from the time I was very young that I would be a very important addition to society and although I was distracted at times I feel I am on my way to my purpose. One day you will all, well not you in particular but people, will all read about me in history books. I will discover things and formulate theories. Theories that will lead to new ways of life. So many things out there right now are so wrong. We all believe everything we read and hear and see because we are taught to memorize things. That is what they are. Do not question just learn and answer and pass and achieve. The law is another thing. If it is legal it is right. We dont even question it half of the time. Women consistantly go into clinics at 5 months pregnant and get abortions because the law says it is okay to do. The law used to say it was okay to kill your children if they were female and not male, very recently in china actually, and people would think okay the law says it legal it must be right. But the law doesnt determine morals and values. The law is not always right. Doctors are not always right. The news is not always right. All im saying is one cannot learn information and accept that it is right without researching and analyzing yourself. Sometimes I will contradict myself. We all learn contradictions are bad and show the person doesnt know what they are talking about. In reality life is changing, people grow and when you grow you change. I used to be afraid to write something because I felt I was committing to what I write and had to remember my belief or my stance when in reality I dont have to! How I feel and what I believe today may change tomorrow. My goal is not to sound good but to actually understand and grow as a person. So I started this blog, for no other reason than to.......grasp a better understanding of life.